


Smile {Egobang}

by shiverfawkes



Category: Game Grumps, egobang - Fandom
Genre: Egobang - Freeform, M/M, Sadness, no really I'm sorry, thats a lie I'm not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-11
Updated: 2017-10-11
Packaged: 2019-01-16 05:46:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12336672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shiverfawkes/pseuds/shiverfawkes
Summary: "What's the use in trying?""Buck up!- Don't say die, we'll get along!"





	Smile {Egobang}

_Smile, though your heart is aching. Smile. even though it's breaking_

Dan stood in the cemetery in front of the grave stone, a simple black slab of marble with letters engraved in silver. Suzy clutched to his arm, tears streaming town her face in a mixture of salt and eyeliner.

He didn't speak a word, for fear of breaking into sobs in the graveyard. He'd never been in a Christian church before, he'd never been in a Christian cemetery, he never thought he would've _needed_ to be. He forced a small smile as he read over the words again and again, trying to be the happy man that he was supposed to be.

Here lies Arin Joseph Hanson  
_Was Loved by Many_  
 _Rest In Peace_

Ross, Holly and Barry stood there too, Holly rested her head on Ross's shoulder, with a white knuckle grip on the handle of her umbrella. Nobody wanted to acknowledge the tears running down their faces, the three of them afraid of saying something stupid or disrespectful.

_When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by_

The walk home was quiet Suzy sniffled and Holly attempted quiet words of comfort, Ross made small talk with Dan, and Barry was silent. His parents had visited prior, and a few friends couldn't make it, or couldn't bring themselves to see it and face the truth.

They all went their separate ways after talking on the front porch of Suzy's house. Dan was staying with Suzy, not trusting her alone at home, and after everyone left, immediately made himself a coffee needing something to calm himself down.

_If you smile, through your fear and sorrow_

He sat on the porch, mug in hands staring of into the distance, dreaming of something else, somewhere else, where everything hurt a lot less. Suzy came to ask if he was alright. He offered her a weak smile of reassurance. It was a stupid question. He wanted to fall asleep forever and the mug was slowly burning through his hands as he let it sit there.

_Smile and maybe tomorrow_

Dan didn't sleep that night, paranoid of something, anything going wrong, he checked his texts frantically, and couldn't stop thinking of gruesome shit, his friends and loves ones taking their lives. The horrific scene of Arin hanging from the ceiling wouldn't leave his mind.

The bags under his eyes built up night after night and he could only hope that what they'd said about grieving was true, that he'd learn to cope.

_You'll see the sun come shining through for you_

His friends began to notice, and suddenly the tables had turned and they were the ones worrying. And Dan hated it. He wasn't supposed to be the centre of attention, the centre of attention had been burned and put in a jar, to be scattered over a mountain in Japan.

Why were they putting all their focus on him. He was _fine_. Arin was _dead_.

_Light up your face with gladness. Hide every trace of sadness_

The lovelies didn't understand why the upload schedule had gone to shit, and began to worry, speculating and theorising. So it was only a matter of time before a video had to be made by Dan and Suzy, to let them know what had happened.

The moment the camera was on the mask went on too and Dan greeted the camera cheerfully, his words plastered with fake joy, unlike any tone he'd used in the past weeks.

_Although a tear may be ever so near_

Saying the words felt so surreal, they felt fake and scripted, but the fact that what he said was true, fucked him up even more. Suzy broke down the moment he spoke those words, and he had to resist the urge to as well, so he wiped away the tears brimming in his eyes and plastered on a smile, waving goodbye.

_That's the time, you must keep on trying_

Everything became much more difficult after that, with no responsibilities, no more drive to come into work anymore, everything felt pointless. Even breathing became a chore for Dan as he came down with sickness due to malnourishment.

He'd been taking care of himself the least, too busy worrying about everybody else. He went back to the old days of playing Morrowind to distract himself from everything. Forgetting to eat or sleep, even going outside wasn't on his mind.

He'd practically moved in with Suzy at this point, because now she was worried for his health and everything had become so backwards, that Dan just wanted everything to stop. He needed it to.

_Smile, what's the use of crying?_

So for the first time in months Dan let the tears roll down his face, he hadn't cried since he had gotten the news. So as he scrawled the words on a piece of paper, he allowed them to flow, allowed himself to choke out sobs and shake as he did so. Until chest hurt and his throat was raw.

He knew that what he was about to do was wrong. But he had to do it.

And with that there was no more than a bang.

_You'll find that life is still worth-while_

**Author's Note:**

> First archive story! It's a repost oneshot I have on my Wattpad (which is by the same username if anybody wants to check it out) and I'm quite proud of it :)


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